my dad called me a boy today which continues my theory that he has transformed my coming out as a lesbian into “let’s view stephanie as a son”. I’m not really sure how to feel about it. I think he is a bit misguided but he has never poured so much love and support towards me. He also likes to declare that I’m his favorite child now, especially in front of my sisters. He also decided to tell me drunkenly on thanksgiving how the morning I was born everyone was disappointed I was a girl. At this remark my eldest sister decided to chip in, “Don’t worry, you still got a boy” as reassurance to my father. I find it very revealing that my father suddenly favors me now that I frequently display a more masculine edge. It is very indicative of how society favors men and it just reinforces how critical the work of feminism is.
I feel like as the mountain of evidence increases I have grounds to be upset, but I’m not. In fact, I enjoy that my family recognizes in their own heteronormative minds that I’m rather androgynous. They just don’t have the understanding to realize that gender is fluid and I’m neither a son nor a feminine woman, rather a human being that fluctuates as I wish between labels that don’t make sense anyways.
